Wednesday, May 31, 2006

"HUMP"day Wednesday, Cruisin' Magazine, Gay Pride Prep, Eye Candy

Happy "HUMP"day Wednesday bloggerites and friends. Wow, those three day weekends make the time go by quick!! As you know, the website update needs to be done by tomorrow, so this will be a very short post, and get right to the eye candy momentarily. June is already here tomorrow, and that means for the GLBT community, that PRIDE festivals and parades kick into high gear. I am not sure if you remember a while back, but I was asked to write for a local gay magazine that goes out to the tri-state area of Ohio, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia, called Cruisin' Magazine. It is distributed free of charge to all of the bars in the area and publishes about 15-20 thousand copies a month. Well, my first story goes in this months issue on June 2nd. I wrote a little humor piece on preparing for Gay Pride. I will share it with you now, and if it is horrible, let me know. I need to know if I can show my face in any of the bars around here again, LOL. Enjoy the article, enjoy the eye candy......have a great day.........GG

It's Pride season again. For the newly initiated queer, I offer you
the Gay Guru's Pre-Pride checklist.

2 Weeks before Pride:

Begin cleansing diet: Fruits for the fruit. No Meat, veggies,
soda, or candy to lose those last pesky 7 pounds and bring
body fat percentage back to 3%. Drink lots of water.

Double your workouts at the gym or sleep with a cute gym bunny
who has access to free 14 day trial gym memberships

Buy the unlimited tanning membership, instead of the current
5 visits for $10 dollars.

1 week before Pride:

Change cleansing diet to fruit flavored lifesavers for rest of meals.
Slowly exchange vodka for water to prepare for the weekend.

Exchange one workout a day for cellulite removal and begin laser
tattoo removal of name of boy you met at last years Pride.

Begin color coordinating outfits to highlight the tan, and work
with the expected bead colors you will be wearing after showing
off your kibble and bits.

1 day before Pride:

Dont eat to ensure waif like circuit boy physique for the big day.
Go to liquor store to purchase Cabana Boy rum and Grey Goose.

Forget gym, do 1000 sit-ups to do final chiseling of abs.

Put all color coordinated shirts back in the closet, you wont be
wearing them anyway. Spring for final Spray-on tan.

Day of Pride:

Let any hottie at the festival park buy you the first piece of
meat you have had in 14 days at the aptly named sausage shack.

Dance, Dance, Dance, to sweat and make that newly formed six pak
and pecs glisten.

Dont forget where you left your pants after a night full of Pride
after-parties, you already dont have a shirt......Enjoy!!!










And in honor of PRIDE kick-off...

8 comments:

http://rossaholicsupportgroup.blogspot.com/

No worries, GG, I think it'll definitely be safe for you to show your face around town. :) Btw, with just some slight tweaking (won't tell you where ;)) your list works just as well for str8 folks! Btw, I get dibs on Eye Candy #1...neener-neener!

.

i LOVE PRIDE events! Ours in Indy is a week from Sat. We will be there with bells on...we will stick with the bear crowd though...F**K lossing weight!

roque

The hubby and I will doing LA Pride gain this year. Last year was pretty amazing.

WAT

I must be careful at work here as I try and secretly view this phenomenal eye candy.

Marvelous!

Marko

I cant wait for pride, I will be going to the Minneapolis festival, good times! Im all giddy, lol!

OMG, that first guy...wow! Those abs are incredible!

Mikey

I just want one of those dudes. Just one I say!!! LOL Listen to me all talk no action.

virocana

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