Sunday, December 03, 2006

1 Holiday Gift Down, Relationship Debate: Is Monogamy Out??, Black and White Ball, Captured Cuties

That weekend went by quick blogger friends, and now there is only 21 shopping days until christmas and a mere 26 before my birthday. I hope you all got done whatever you needed to this week. I was able to get one present marked off my list this weekend and for it being so early, I am Soooo far ahead of where I usually am, lol. My very good friend and former roomate in Massuchussetts, well, he loves him some U2!! I like the band a lot as well, but he is really on the far end of in love with them, travelling all over the US to see them perform. Well somehow, he has either been too busy or too cheap to shell out the 40 bucks for the the book "U2 by U2", the book written by the members of the band and their manager, Paul Mcguinniss. The book came out in September, and I thought for sure he would have it by now, but my secret spy, and my friends not so secret lover, told me that it was on his christmas list, and he let me be the one to pick it up for him. Taa Daa, one down, about 30 more to go!! If any of you are big U2 fans like me and especially my buddy Greg, here is a little preview of what all is in the book.........

So I have an open question for you all blogger friends and readers, and it's about open relationships. First off, let me assure you that I know I am the Gay Guru in name only, and am in no way the be all, end all, expert on gay culture. What the Gay Guru was formed out of, was my desire to give back to the community in some small way, either thru information, advice, commentary and hopefully humor of things I have gone thru or witnessed in my life as a gay man. I give out honest heartfelt and sometimes headstrong opinions that I have made and which I usual believe, but in no way do I ever think that my answer, advice or comment is always the correct last word on the subject, which brings me to why I am asking this question.

Being a relatively normal gay man, me likes myself a little gay porn every here and then. Sexuality is a big part of our community, and what the hey, it's fun to watch, lol. So liking it as I do, I am a big fan of Jason Sechrest, who hosts his own blog, website, interview shows at the gay bars, and everything else he does in the world of gay and straight porn. Anyway, I was doing my daily read of his Jason's Diary, and he posted on Friday, December 1st, about finally hooking up sexually this past week with his ex of over 4 years. He then goes on in the post, to talk about having a bad week with his bf Mikey, (yes I said bf, this was the part that got to me, but you have to read his past diary entry's to get up to speed), and them talking things out and Mikey apologizing for not trying enough, etc, etc, read the diary! Anyways, we had a long back and forth comment discussion about it. Me telling him how I thought it was wrong to be having sex with an ex or with anybody while in a relationship, and him telling me that sex is just sex, and it is a more mature person that doesnt build their relationship based solely on that. I think he made some valid points, and I think I made some valid points, but then again, I am me, so my feelings win out for me, LOL. If you have a chance, read the post and then read our comments back and forth to each other. Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter of having an "open relationship". Do they work? Can they work? Would you rather have an open relationship or a monogamous one. Should I be changing my attitude and catching up to the times where a hot f*ck with a stranger doesnt count in a relationship. Have I been missing out? Str8 readers feel free to jump in on this as well. I am looking forward to some comments and some emails.

I always miss the good parties!!!!

Capote's Famed Masked Ball Recreated
by The Associated Press

(New Orleans, Louisiana) Maybe it should be called the Resurrection Party of the Century. In a bid to raise money for writers and poets displaced by Hurricane Katrina, a fledgling group of writers ladled up some haute couture in the Crescent City by staging a re-enactment of Truman Capote's 1966 extravaganza, the Black and White Ball. There have been other attempts at re-creating the Party of the Century, as the "Tiny Terror's" 1966 masked ball at the Plaza Hotel in New York City has been called, but this one was particularly unusual, and eerie, because it brought the celebrated writer's life full circle. The setting was the Queen Anne Ballroom of the Hotel Monteleone, a faded 19th-century hotel one block away from Bourbon Street where, 82 years ago, Capote's mother lay pregnant in Room 950 overlooking the Mississippi River; she went into labor with her unborn child, the boy she'd name Truman, and never accept because he failed to be the virile man she so selfishly wanted. Instead, the openly gay Truman was nasally in his speech and flamboyant in his dress.

The date and time for this year's ball was 8 p.m., Nov. 28, 2006, 40 years to the day and nearly the hour of Capote's blowout to celebrate the publication of his masterpiece, "In Cold Blood," which had vaulted him into the heavens of the rich and famous. An annual Black and White Ball "belongs here," Robert Smallwood, the writer responsible for organizing the inaugural New Orleans ball, said at the end of the long, boozy and burnished night. "He's probably looking over, and, and, uh," Smallwood searched his thoughts. What would Capote have said about Smallwood's attempt at this re-creation? "... just grinning as much as he could because he always wanted to be famous for a long time and I think he's achieved that," Smallwood offered. "And the sign of a true artist is one that gets more popular as time goes on and it looks like he has done that." And Capote's flame is burning strong these days, 22 years after he died in 1984. In March, the biopic "Capote" was nominated for five Academy Awards, and won the best actor prize for Philip Seymour Hoffman's portrayal of the author. Now, "Infamous," starring Toby Jones as Capote, is winning critical acclaim. Both films focus on the author's dark quest to create the true-crime novel "In Cold Blood."

Have a great week blogger friends. Emails for Secret Santa go out tonight, let me know tomorrow if you didnt recieve your info email. Todays Captured Cuties is all about hot raw youth, captured over at blogger friends Addicted to Boy Beauty Blog. I put a couple bonuses for missing yesterday......Take Care........GG



This open relationship nonsense provides fodder for the arguments of the religious right: gay men are abnormal, sexually crazed, unable to control their urges, and incapable of loving, stable relationships.

As we are fighting so hard for marriage rights and equality across the board, I don't understand why we're having a discussion about whether or not it's ok to fuck whomever you want, whenever you want.


I've given up arguing with open-relationship advocates. They've done a great job of deluding and intellectualizing their actions. But we all know (and I think deep down inside - they know) that the day will come when they're going to be completely alone and devoid of any fulfilling relationship; when they could have spent that time courting one person in particular.

The Gay Guru

Well, glad to see I wasnt the only one feeling that way. Did you read his comments on the links? It SEEMED persuasive that you could be bonded with someone in a relationship intellectually and spiritually, and of course you have sex together, but the mere act of sex wth someone else didnt seem to be a negative in the relationship. I still dont get it and wonder if anyone else has compelling arguments for a committed relationship, but open sex.

Steve S

and him telling me that sex is just sex, and it is a more mature person that doesnt build their relationship based solely on that.

When it comes to monogamy, who says that a relationship is based solely on that?

My partner and I have been monogamous for 23 years. Our relationship is SO much more than sex, it's not based solely on that at all.

I won't judge another for having an open relationship, but there is no way that I or my partner would ever consider it.

To our way of understanding, a relationship is based on love and sex is an expression of that love. It's just one expression of many. Being by their side when they are down and out, nursing them back to health, (and in our case) raising a family together, sharing lives together, these are ways to express love. Sex is a way to express that love. If we also had sex with others, then it means nothing between us.

That's just us, to each his own, there is no one single, right way for everybody.


hi tnx fer droppin' by to my voxxie, anyways that wuz just a personal blog! my thoughts goes wit my

btw thnx fer the visit again! i luv the pics so nice and so queer! ;)

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