YES HE LIVES!!!!!

Okay, so where do I begin to start, to appologize, and to make ammends for disappearing off the face of the earth? How about beginning with why I decided to come back, and why come back today. Well, today, April 7th, was my first official post as I started the Gay Guru adventure exactly one year ago today. It was the beginning of my quest to see if one gay man could make a difference by trying to provide information, commentary, ask questions, and hopefully provide a little humor along the way. To see how mind blowing boring I was as I first started out, HERE is my very first post, one year ago today. Scary isn't it? I have hopefully deluded myself into thinking that I had gotten a little better along the way, but the jury is still out on that one.

So that should clear up why I started back up today, but why I started back up at all is another story entirely. I guess it has to go back to why the heck I stopped in the first place, and why did I stop without a peep to anyone, especially my fantastic friends I made along my journey like SoCalGal, Mikey, Marko, Leonard, WAT, Bruce, and a whole host of others that will make this waaaaay too long of a post if I went on, but suffice it to say, I know I left a lot of good cyber friends hanging. The answer is, there is no good answer! I had one heartache, and a huge feeling of overwhelmingness, and a dash of self-pity that what I write/wrote does not really make a bit of a difference in the world, when bloggers who simply use sex appeal and superfulousness, seem to get all of the attention and readers anyway.

The heartache is not ready to be shared as of yet, but let's just say it was bad and threw me into a mini-depression that I couldn't fight out of for a while. The feeling of overwhelmingness came from a bunch of places, obviously. I had the new job at the production studio that was taking a lot of my time, and caused a bit of grief in the pay department, where I have not really recovered yet, but am getting closer every day. I had a living situation that was getting worse by the day, which I continued to live with until I FINALLY put in my 30 days notice April 1st, and found a new, better place to live. I felt the pressure of the Gay Guru website, and not being able to update it as I feel it needed to be, and what I wanted it to be, so I was feeling a failure at that. I had that huge blow-up with my best friend that I told you all about, and it was eating away at me, not being able to talk to him about stuff. And finally, on my road trip to help save Davey's Basement from closing, my friend and I had a minor emergency with his family and had to turn around half way there, and I wasnt able to fulfill my promise to Teri, and was feeling really bad about that. I also learned that they didnt make much money and it wasnt a huge turnout, so I felt guilty about that, and it led to a bit of my feeling that this blog just didnt matter. So that and some more minor things, put me into a major shut-down mode that was hard to share and come out of with my cyber friends and blogger buddies.

As for the appology, I am truly sorry that I let me friends, fans, and fellow bloggers down, and I will try to not ever let it happen again. This was a very enlightening and well spent 3 months off, and I hope to come back energized, refreshed, dedicated, and ready for the challenges and accomplishments that lie ahead. To be truthful, I just decided this morning that today was the day I was going to come back to the blogosphere. Anniversary date or not, I wasnt sure I was going to do this, although I have thought about it for the last few weeks. As I sat at the computer this morning, it just felt right to start back again. I am really kind of playing it by ear, much like when I started out, I am not sure what direction I am going to take with this blog. For sure, the website is not coming back yet, if at all. Until I can devote time to making sure it is constantly updated, or can find friends who are willing to help make that happen, I am not ready to make that commitment yet. I am not yet going to promise that I will be writing a new post for this blog daily, but I still do have a lot to say, and a lot that I think needs to be talked about, so we will see with that as well. Once again I ask you, what readers I have left, and what readers are hopefully yet to come, what would you like to see from this blog, and what brought you or still brings you here anyway? My goal is to still bring information, commentary, questions and humor, but do I want to do it as a national/local forum, or do I want to do it all personal opinion and not bring general information to the site. I am going to have to take some time to update my links, as I have not read much while I have been gone as well. I am not sure if all of my links are still working and if the blogs are still going. Hopefully, I will have that done in the next week or so. If I DO NOT have you as a link, and you would like your site or blog linked here, please send me an email at "mygayguru(at)yahoo.com (I had to do that to stop the spammers, substitute @ for (at).....)

There is more to tell, and I am sure you may have questions as well, so I will stop here for now. I hope you will accept me back, and let's see where this goes now in the future..........Laterz Blogger Friends...........GG